Category: Dating and Relationships
To those who read my previous post about liking someone who has kids etc. Well I faced my fear and called him. However one kid is 5 yrs and the other 6 months. He likes me as a friend but how can that be when you want to avoid someone? Like I asked him out for cofee (nothing wrong with that now is there?) when he got back from his vacation. But he said no. Then I asked him if he'd call me and he said "Only if it's about business." Fuck the friendship then. Just tell me you're not interested in me. I then came out of the closet and told him I liked him. I sent 2 emails to him and he was on MySpace believe it or not but he never even OPENED the damn things. God it hurts so much it hurts so damn fucking much! Here I tell him I like him and alot and I don't get anything in return! This goes to show you that disabled women will never get the chance to date/marry men without disabilities. Hell I was willing to except the fact he has kids. Christ I even tried to show a interest in them for once. And this is what I get. Men make me so fucking sick! I may as well die alone. I stopped dating men with disabilities because of the dependance and pittiness they ask for. I'm sorry but I'm through being used like that. Now it goes to show you I'm not accepted on either side. And then I find out a few weeks ago that the friend I have on here whom I dated on/off for a year is soon to be engaged by his ex whom dated him what? 6 times now? This is why I refuse to date. I wasn't looking for love honest! It just hit me. I hate being alone!
um what does being disabled have to do with being rejected? maybe the guy just doesn't feel the same, people get rejected all the time, unless he expressly said he wasn't interested because you have a disability you should be careful about jumping to those kind of conclusions, because it will create the impression that you have a chip on your shoulder about your disability. You should stop blaming your disability and just face the fact that sometimes, feelings aren't recipricated.
Wow, Blindvi, your chances of dating and happiness are only as good as your attitude towards it. Generalizing about man and disabled vs non-disabled might make you feel better but is vastly inaccurate and, well, falt out wrong. It often happens that feelings are not reciprocated, even if you are a millionaire or an actor or a model, so stop beating yourself up over this .. I know it hurts, I've been there, I've even been on the rejecting side and it's not much better, but I've just learnt time and time again that you got to have true feelings for the other person and it's got to be mutual, you can't date someone to make him/her happy if you're not sure yourself, and you can't persuade someone to date you only because you love/oike them so much, either way it'll end up in a disaster, and you got to have the self confidence and willingness to face these things and work through them, they happen to all of us and they don't mean you'll forever be without love, it only means it takes time, it's not like you are 40 years old and 600 pounds (and even those people find happiness too because almost no matter who you are or what you look like you are beautiful to someone).
So, cheer up, it's hard to do right now I know but you need to start working on it, little by little.
cheers
-B
It just feels that way. Everytime I'm interested in a guy who isn't disabled has no interest in me. Simply because most men (don't kill me for saying it because not all men are like this.) feel that women with a disability are dependant or reliable on something. It was just something I needed to vent thats all. Just stressed thats all. In time I'll get over it. Just give me my space.
Yeah that guy that is looking to marry his GF, that has been on and off for four times now, not six is me. Her and I have had these feelings but she wasn't sure what she wanted, and I was the same. But now we have talked things out things are better now. I can't wait to get that ring and ask her.
BB
DAMN loneless sucks i can say that but the right one will come along eventually i just hope its soon
It sucks. I've been there too, but have no fear. The right one is out for you!
There is always someone for everyone, and you never know. Don't leave blind guys out of the picture just cuz they are blind like you. Sure, sighted guys can drive, can flatter you with compliments, and be a great help for you in the end, but if you just limit yourself to them, you may just miss Mr. Right completely, we all get rejected, I've been there many of times and I know I am a beautiful girl, it's just not how that person feels, life goes on, and as hard as this is so must you, just be strong, you'll find someone someday.
I have to say that personally I have to agree in that I have had worse relationships with blind guys, however, that is my own personal experience in the matter. *smile* I haven't met all of them; or even dated half the ones I have met, but it's also a good point that you should never disreguard any group from the possibility. You will some day find Mister right; who knows, he might be your bestfriend or just around the corner, but a negative attitude for an extended amount of time won't help, so, *tight hugs* cheer up and have fun looking; you'll likely miss the looking times when you've found him. Oh, and another thing. I'm living proof that a disabled person can get with a nondisabled individual. My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years and married for 6 of those 9, and our love is stronger today then it was when it all started. It does happen.
sorry to hear that, but stay strong, and it'll all come together one day. patience is key, trust me on that.
I think people have great advie here... as many have said, I've been in that boat too (the last guy I really fell for told me six months after I told him my feelings that he was getting married... talk about youch!)
But onto the blind/sighted thing... I can't remember the last blind guy I was attracted to... It must have been at least five years ago or so... I've almost always been attracted to sighted guys. It's not that I think THE ONE won't be blind, but it's unlikely.. for whatever reason I don't have a "thing" for blind guys.
so if you found the right guy, and he was blind, does that mean you wouldn't date him? i'm just trying to clarify, so please don't jump down my throat.
don't jump down throats unless you jump down mine first. If the right guy came along and he was blind, I would date him.. but the thing is that I haven't been attracted to a blind guy for years.. make sense?
I personally in most cases am more attracted to sighted guys myself, however, have ended up dating more blind guys, for whatever reason I just don't know.
i've dated blind girls, but that's only cuz i havn't really been out in the sighted world.
i have had runs with blind guys but got the crazy or pothead or zack I cant figure otu which one to put him in then there are the sheltered guys yeah you get the idea
When I was single, I had better luck with women who were blind or disabled, as sighted women were OK with being friends of one sort or another but didn't seem to have much desire to date me. Took me a long time to realize that and stop trying so hard to date sighted women. But then again, I had my own issues with being clingy, since I totally didn't know the ropes, and didn't have very good self-esteem, let alone issues like not having a car or lots of money, which seemed to be important in the sighted dating world. However, for a while, the women who were attracted to me seemed to be very needy and thought because I treated them like human beings that it meant I loved them when I was just being kind. Luckily, I'm in a very wonderful relationship with a woman who is blind and loves me for all the right reasons. It took a while, but it happened.
Hmm, does it really matter if the person whom one falls in love with is blind or sighted?? Does this really matter? At the end of the day, if you fall in love with that special someone, may they be blind or sighted, surely this wouldn't be a factor as it's what is in the inside and what makes this person the one, surely that's what counts. The best and most beautiful things in the world, they cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt by the heart!
right on girl!
You're taking my comments WAY too far... I never once said I would never fall for a blind guy, just that I HAVEN't fallen for a blind guy
I am dating a blind guy myself, I don't know if i will work, I honestly can't say right now a this stage as it is still kind of developing, but I do love him very much
Awww, hugs Jess. And yes, I've dated many a blind guy ... to me it really doesn't make a difference if he's sighted or not. I think I'd feel more self-conscious if the person was sighted, however, because I think maybe they'd have a tendency to be more critical. I don't know.
Awwww, thanks for the hugs Alley. *hugs back*
Hey Blindvi don't count relationships out yet. Just give it time and (if you believe in God) pray about and wait cause when it's time He'll show you who He wants you to be with.
Positive or Negitive this is old news. Why people are making such a big deal over something I've gotten over with. So I was upset. Sheesh last time I ever come for comfort on a problem on here. Time to move on folks.
And to end this: My friend and I talked and he made it clear that he likes me but just as a friend. He didn't mean to make it sound like he rejected me. Yes it sounded and felt that way. But when he told me how much he liked me and why it made me feel good inside. And for the most part my blindness has nothing to do with the situation. He's just getting use to having a friend with a disability as I am getting use to him as he's my first best friend who has kids. We comfort one another and care about each other. I'm glad he's still in my life. And hopefully within time if things stay the way they are who knows maybe something might come of it.
But folks seriously it's time to move on. Hell this is the first time I walked back on this board after I posted this.
I know rejection, and I am sick and tired of it, so I'm avoiding situations in which I can be rejected. After striking out with men I thought long and hard about it to discover if there was the slightest chance that I might be gay, but I came up with the conclusion that I most certainly am not. Then I wondered if perhaps someone up there wants me to become a nun or a buddhist monk, or something of that sort, and once again I came up empty. I finally decided to be content with my two best friends, one male and one female, and that if I ever want a family I will become a Siamese cat breeder, and adopt children from some where in Asia or perhaps Europe. I'm tired of chasing men, and trying too hard, and trying to market myself or taylor myself to their needs and wants. I've determined to wait and see if someone comes along for me. If they don't I won't be too happy about it, but I will live.
feelings are tricky things. they can hit you at very strange times and what's even worce is that they don't work to a time frame. you can think you are over something or someone for example and then x amount of weeks or months after things happened something can trigger a whole host of imotion. it's very difficult to deal with. and it's very difficult to get over. to those who don't know about relationships or anything like that, well all i'll say is don't dismiss them, if you find the right person then they really can be fantastic things. if you are prepared to work at it. sometimes you just have to gamble to win and that's precisely what a relationship is, a gamble. if it works it's the best thing in the world. if it doesn't then it's very painful. mine didn't work and it took me a long time for me to get over it and i've got scars from it. but that won't make me dismiss someone else out of hand, it just means that next time i'll be much more careful.
Hey, I just thought I'd put my spin on things as I see them. My gf is blind and I am sighted. So what? I've never even seen it as an issue. And I don't even notice or think or ever have thought of it as an issue or a problem. And she doesn't either. I think when you truly love someone and are comfortable with them, you see them for who they are inside, which is completely different than dwelling on things like whether they can see, or what they look like. This woman completely captured my heart the minute she forst walked into a room and I first saw her. I think in any relationship or budding relationship, the barriers you face and have to overcome are largely through what you put there yourselves. If you think of your disability as a factor, then it becomes an issue, and difficult to overcome. Like if you feel yourself unworthy of their love and not good enough, then they will feel that too, and it will become an issue. The best advice, is to look at all your positives, and put your best side forward. The right person will see that and fall in love with you for who you are. You may even find the little things you hate about yourself they don't even have an issue with! So good luck to all in future relationships! I hope you are as lucky and in love as I am! -x-
Hi. Wow! This is quite a lively board so far! As far as the blind or sighted thing goes, it really depends on the person in question. If it's the right one, you'll fall for them because of who they are and not their circumstances etc and things like that will matter less at that point...
Hi. Wow! This is quite a lively board so far! As far as the blind or sighted thing goes, it really depends on the person in question. If it's the right one, you'll fall for them because of who they are and not their circumstances etc and things like that will matter less at that point...
Ugh. My friend and I have both been rejectedlike that, of course to a more minor extent since we're in high school, but still...we told them and they both just well ok her guy told me to tell her, and mine completely ignored me....the least people could do is say so instead of leaving you in suspense, seriously! but about the disability thing, not all people with disabilities are dependent, and if you said that yous topped dating people with disabilities, do you think other people think the same thing and therefore cancil you out?